Ya don't know that caviar is really just fish eggs.

Ya think John Deere was one of the Mouseketeers.

Ya think milk comes from plastic jugs.

Ya think that when a bull mounts a cow, he's only doing it to get a better view!

Ya think the only difference between a cow and a bull is the horns.

Ya don't know the difference between a cow and a bull.

The first time ya ate barbecued ribs you asked how they got the food on those little sticks.

Ya think "long johns" come from the donut shop.

Ya can't find the flush lever in the outhouse!

Ya know how to make quiche, and your husband actually likes it.

You've never tipped a cow 'cause they don't work in restaurants.

You've never been on a hay ride.

Ya cried when you found out where hamburgers come from.

You've never gone skinny-dipping in a creek.

Ya think pork butts are part of a pig's ass.

Ya don't like country ham.

Ya think that wind mill in the cow pasture is there to keep the cows cool in summer.

Ya think "coon" is a just a cruel name for African Americans.

You've never tried a chaw of Red Man.

Ya won't bait your own hook because worms & minnows are "icky."

Ya do all of your gardening in barrels on the patio.

Ya like cats better than coon dogs.

You like deer because they have pretty brown eyes.

When ya hear the word "steamer" ya think of the Titanic.

You have never been snipe hunting.

The tires on your boyfriend's car are all the same size.

Your boyfriend's truck was made in Japan.

Yer husband's lawn mower requires an extension cord.

Ya think that mountain oysters are seafood from Colorado.

You think the only difference between red and white corn cobs is the color.

You've never eaten poke greens.

Yer kids play soccer instead of baseball.

You've never gotten a jar of Bag Balm as a gift.

Ya think that cow poop smells bad.

You get to park your car in the garage because your husband doesn't own ANY old tractors.

Ya saw the vet preg-checking a cow and called 911.

You've never planted flowers in an old tractor tire.

You've never even heard of red-eye gravy.

You've never been to a tractor pull.

Your boyfriend took you to a tractor pull and you DIDN'T like it.

All yer cats live in the house.

All of yer cats have names.

Ya called the police when you found out your boyfriend is a coon hunter.