A Cowboy's Mother Teaches TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside -- I just finished cleaning!"

A Cowboy's Mother Teaches RELIGION:
"You best pray that will come out of the carpet."

A Cowboy's Mother Teaches about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, so help me, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

A Cowboy's Mother Teaches LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why!"

A Cowboy's Mother Teaches FORESIGHT:
"Be sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

A Cowboy's Mother Teaches IRONY:
"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."

A Cowboy's Mother Teaches about OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

A Cowboy's Mother Teaches about CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

A Cowboy's Mother Teaches about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."

A Cowboy's Mother Teaches about WEATHER:
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

A Cowboy's Mother Teaches how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?"

A Cowboy's Mother Teaches about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times -- don't exaggerate!!!"

A Cowboy's Mother Teaches about THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

A Cowboy's Mother Teaches about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"STOP acting like your father!"

A Cowboy's Mother Teaches about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have a wonderful Mamma like you do!"